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Relationship Counselling: All you need to know

What is Relationship Counselling?

When we say romantic relationship, we automatically imagine a couple in front of our eyes. A couple who is supposed to be together, as a whole. But in all this we often forget that two different, unique individuals come together to form a relationship. These two unique individuals bring in their sets of beliefs into the relationship and if one of them is not open to accept the other partner’s view, then clashes can take place.

Relationship counselling helps a couple to initiate conversation about different aspects of their relationship, which are either hampering their relationship or are not enhancing the relationship further. Relationship counselling is not only for couples who have issues in their romantic relationship, but also for the couples who wish to strengthen their relationship.

Types of Relationship Counselling

Every relationship has its own ups and downs, so it is important that the couple open up to the counsellor, this will help the counsellor in understanding their issue in a better way and it will give the counsellor an idea of which method will be useful for the couple.

There are different types of relationship counselling techniques. It depends on the counsellor and the nature of the couples’ issue to know which technique to be used. Let’s see some important and commonly practiced techniques.

  1. Cognitive-Behavioural Couples Counselling: We all have different thinking patterns. Sometimes, these thoughts take a form of beliefs which become extremely rigid and are reflected in our behaviour. Hence, in CBT the counsellor works on these thinking pattern.  One of the ways of CBT is to find out whether these thoughts are based on fiction or on facts. With this method, the couples learn how to handle unpleasant or negative emotions and attitude towards their partner or towards the relationship.
  2. Emotionally Focused Couples Counselling: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is often a short-term therapy. Here the focus is on the couple’s attachment styles. Handling of emotions plays a core part in this therapy. This therapy helps the couple to strengthen their bonds, talk about each other’s insecurities, enhance healthy communication and improves interpersonal understanding.
  3. The Gottman Method: This method of therapy is based on The Sound Relationship House theory which indicates a pyramid with 7 floors. According to this theory the couples moves upward, through these 7 floors, to improve their relationship. This method can help in many relationship issues from conflicts, arguments to infidelity.
  4. Solution-Focused Couples Counselling: In this therapy, the counsellor works directly towards finding the solution for the issue instead of searching for the root cause. This happens so because the couple becomes so distant or have so much to handle that they are unable to see the simplest solution to the problem, and the counsellor helps them in recognizing the solution that is needed to mend their relationship.

Signs You Need to Consult a Relationship Counsellor

Everything in our life gives us a sign, be it health issues, work matters or relationships. It is important to acknowledge small signs before the issue becomes a big one. No relationship ends or has a big problem overnight. It consists of unresolved conflicts and many different things that needs to be addressed no matter how small they are.

Here are few such signs to look out for before taking the decision of opting counselling:

  • Feeling unheard in a relationship.
  • Having difficulty in communicating.
  • Having emotional conflicts.
  • Suspicion or trust issues.
  • Problems regarding intimacy.

Even though these are main signs to look out for, it is not necessary that one waits to reach to these points. If you start observing minor issues in your relationship then that can be your sign to opt for counselling.

What does relationship counselling involve?

Relationship counselling can be divided into 3 phases. First phase includes getting to know what problems the couple is facing, which can be done by having joint session with both the individuals or having separate sessions which each individual.

The second phase involves encouraging the couple to tell their partners about their own perspective of the problem. After this, the therapist helps the individuals to understand each other’s perspective in a healthy way.

The third and last stage involves acknowledging the insights gained through sessions and working on them, both as an individual and as a couple, and move towards decision making if that is required.

How to Make Relationship Therapy Effective?

To make the therapy effective it is important that the couple is 100% honest with the counsellor. We understand that sharing private incidents and being vulnerable in front of counsellor can be a bit overwhelming, but that’s what counsellors are for. They won’t judge you for the issues you are facing!

Secondly, it is important to follow everything the counsellor asks you to do and attend sessions religiously even if the journey feels bumpy initially.

Apart from this, it is important to be honest with your therapist regarding their approach of therapy. This will help the counsellor to understand whether their way of counselling is helping you or not.

Relationship Counselling Hotline Number

Under the initiative of Sakal media group- We are in this together https://www.waitt.in/, we run a program called ‘Sakal Sobat Boluya’ where our highly trained professionals will guide you regarding any issues that you are facing. You can reach out to us on – 02071171669.

How to find a Relationship Therapist?

We know how essential it is to find a therapist who will be a right fit for you and your partner. While finding numerous relationship therapist online can make you confused, here are few points which can help you to find a good relationship therapist.

  • Discuss with your partner as to who you both will be comfortable with, a male therapist or a female therapist.
  • Ask the therapists their educational qualifications, their work experience, or anything essential regarding their professional life.
  • Check with yourself whether the therapist is actually listening to you carefully and showing empathy.
  • The right therapist will guide you towards the solution instead of giving you advise or ready-made solutions.
  • It is important to know that not all therapists may be a right fit for you, and that is alright. Like your problems, the approach of every therapist can be different. So do not give up on therapy if you feel that it did not work best the first time. Keep finding the right fit!

Importance of Relationship Counselling

Every issue in romantic relationship has its own intensity and the disturbance caused because of the issues can also vary based on the individual’s or the couple’s emotional needs. Opting for relationship counselling doesn’t mean that you and your partner have failed to be an ideal couple, rather it says that you are willing to be your real selves and enhance your romantic relationship.

Apart from this, relationship counselling is essential because:

  • You feel good after talking to a therapist, knowing that the information is going to be kept confidential!
  • It helps you understand your individual needs and also the needs of your partner.
  • Most of the times, conflicts arise due to unhealthy communication and misconception of words spoken by either of the partner. In relationship counselling, the counsellor tries to make the couple understand their partner’s point of view in an assertive way.
  • Helps you to achieve better emotional regulation.
  • Relationship counselling helps you, as an individual, to even build your self-esteem.

Related: Benefits of Relationship Counseling

Why should I consult a relationship counsellor?

Romantic relationship can be one of the most important relationships in one’s life. When the importance of a particular thing is more, we tend to be equally insecure and protective about it, and here it isn’t merely a thing but it is a relationship. So, it can be understood how difficult and distressing it could be to deal with relationship issues.

At such times, a relationship counsellor guides you on your journey of improving your relationship and also on your self-growth. A relationship counsellor provides a listening ear and that itself can make one feel better.

One can visit a relationship counsellor for following reasons:

  • To work on healthy communication between you and your partner.
  • To understand your partner better.
  • To enhance your romantic relationship.
  • Relationship counselling can also help you in thinking clear, which ultimately leads you to make a decision about the romantic relationship, be it staying in the relationship, working on a few aspects in the relationship or deciding to break up in a healthy way and move on.

Relationship Counselling: Related FAQs

Yes, we understand how confusing it can be to know whether to start therapy, how to go about it, when to opt for it, what to expect from it. To rescue you from all these queries, here are a few FAQ’s regarding relationship counselling which might help you in knowing the answers to your questions!

Q1: Can couples therapy make things worse?

A: During the initial phase of therapy, things can seem a little difficult as both, you and your partner, are dealing with your own insecurities and expectations of the other person. But it is important to address all these distressing things and at the same time it is important to keep session related information only for counselling session, it is not advised to talk about the topic outside the session in absence of the therapist. This can lead to misunderstandings and things can take a bad turn. So, trust your therapist and go with the flow!

Q2: Can counselling save a relationship?

A: It depends on the gravity of issue that you are facing in your relationship. It also depends on you and your partner’s commitment towards the sessions and implementing changes in your individual life as well as in your romantic relationship.

Q3: Can relationship counselling work?

A: Yes, with your willingness to open up and staying committed to the sessions, relationship counselling works. Progress may not always be according to your expectations, but slowly and with the help of counsellor you will be able to acknowledge it!

Q4: Do I need relationship counselling?

A: If you feel like you are having any issues in your relationship, no matter how small they are, you can opt for relationship counselling.

Q5: Is it worth going to relationship counselling?

A: Yes! Relationship counselling works and it is totally worth it!

Q6: What is the success rate of couples counselling?

A: The success rate of couples counselling in India can be said to be above 50%.

Yes, relationships can be tough, being vulnerable and discussing your insecurities can be difficult. But at the same time keeping your problems in the dark can cause greater disturbance. We know how great if feels when someone actually understands what you are going through and makes you feel comfortable in your most distressed journey. So do not be afraid, get on the counselling journey and we ensure a safe ride!

 Looking For Relationship Counselling Online?

If you are looking for online relationship counselling, then you might want to check this out-  https://www.waitt.in/ and your search for a counsellor might come to an end and your counselling journey may start here itself! Remember, we are in this together!

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Shriya Rajendra Khalate

MA Clinical Psychology Counselor Co-founder at Unico

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